February is the month of love
February is the month of love, flowers, cards and maybe more?
But what if you don’t feel in the mood for intimacy? or what if sex is uncomfortable? There is nothing like uncomfortable/painful or sometimes impossible sex to deflate your desire.
Desire and Libido aren’t just linked to the menopause. Our past trauma, life events can all impact how we view intimate relationships. Most menopausal women have noticed their libido has reduced if this is you, please keep reading!
But what are the causes of low libido and desire?
Emotional Reasons
The hormonal rollercoaster of the menopause can really knock your confidence. I’ve spoken to many women who have said “why would my partner fancy me?”
I frequently hear women say, “My partner is very understanding but I’m just not interested in sex anymore”. If this is you, you are not alone.
I rarely talk to any woman who says the menopause hasn’t knocked their libido.
Libido is a complicated thing. It is linked to our emotions. If we don’t feel appreciated, feel we aren’t be listened to if we feel taken for granted, all these impacts desire.
Physical Causes
Lack of Oestrogen to all cells within the genital and urinary system can lead changes in your vagina, labia, clitoris, bladder and pelvic floor. I talk to some women who are unable to have sex and other women who find it hurts a lot or others say it’s a just a bit uncomfortable.
Pain, itchiness, soreness, changes to your vaginal discharge and even visible changes to your genitals can happen. Knowing what your body looks and feels like is so important. Then any changes can be noticed quickly and you can seek help.
• Vaginal Dryness. Lack of Oestrogen to the cells within the genital system can change your mucous production. Unless you treat the root causes of your symptoms, are unlikely to improve.
• “Thrush like symptoms”. Often the cause is related to low Oestrogen but it’s always best to talk to your GP service/111 or a pharmacist. They can advise the treatment for you. If you don’t; have Thrush do, consider vaginal oestrogen. Either at your GP surgery, over the counter or book an appointment with Bourne2care.
• Urinary Tract Infections (UTI). Low levels of Oestrogen can contribute to you getting more UTI’s or certainly symptoms of that. Wanting to pass urine frequently, not able to “hold” it as you once did, “stinging” feelings are common signs. Often there isn’t an infection but always seek medical advice.
• Non hormonal vaginal moisturisers like SYLK and YES can be bought over the counter.
• Low female hormones. If your Oestrogen and Testosterone are low, they will affect your desire and other symptoms.
• Menopausal symptoms. If you are having hot flushes, have gained weight or feeling bloated you may not feel very sexy or wanting to be intimate.
Vaginal Oestrogens
Did you know you can buy vaginal oestrogen over the counter? Most women can take them long term and they are highly effective. They also help with mild incontinence too.
Gina is a tablet that you put in the applicator and insert it vaginally. Ovesse is a vaginal cream that you fill to the red line and insert /use vaginally.
What is really important is that your GP does a vaginal examination. Your symptoms could be due to low hormones but your GP may see other skin conditions and give you additional treatment.
What can you do?
• Explain to your partner how you feel.
• Have some time alone without interruptions.
• “Date Nights”.
• Turn off phones, devises and TV.
• Have cuddles, hold hands and get close. Intimacy isn’t just about having sex
• Being intimate increases your love/bonding hormone Oxytocin. It floods your brain helping you feel close once again.
• The fear of leaking urine while having sex can affect libido too. If this is happening to you have you thought about talking to a women’s health physio?
• Think about Testosterone Replacement. I prescribe Androfeme and have positive feedback!
With the right advice, listening ear, often HRT and advice you can feel better again. Let’s make February the month you want to improve your menopausal symptoms and get back those loving feelings!
Let Diane help you. Please go to www.bourne2care.co.uk and book an appointment.
